I think everyone believes that there will be this sudden moment of clarity. I believe the forefathers called it a defining moment. It's true existence makes life worth living, or at least worth figuring out. There is always that thought in the back of my mind, like an itch I can't get rid of. The itch that says I am going to have one of these moments in my life. The moment when all of my ridiculous thoughts on life will finally make some sense. I will no longer feel like an outsider and yet will be an outsider. As if there is this unknown league of humans that have had their moments. A club of intellectuals that peaked before their clock ran out. The anguish is, that I do not want this clarity. I want this ignorance that is life. Explaining me and why me should never be something to strive for. Being is all that needs to be. Never define yourself. Never try to find meaning. It will get in the way of living.
- Berto
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
The Kait Essay
In order to redeem myself, I have been commanded to write an essay about my friend Kait. I had taken some head shots for her a while back. I then took one of them and made it into art for an art show. The piece actually sold and was praised for its feeling and realness. Let me explain. The part called for her to look like a recovering meth addict. She did some amazing makeup work on herself and the result was someone who looked like a wreck. This is an enormous feat, considering Kait is one of the most beautiful people I have had the pleasure to call friend. So to start off, I will not be showing you the picture I sold, but I will be showing you this one:
She is the blonde and the gorgeous brunette is Lindsay her best friend. I was lucky that weekend to spend time with such amazing women, even though they almost drove me crazy!
That is her and I at ACL drunk and tired. No she is not naked. She was a sport and put up with my camping hobbies!!
So on to the Essay...
KAIT: AN ESSAY by Toad Bennett
Considering you have made it this far, I can assess that you find Kait to be beautiful and interesting. Now I will successfully convince you of her other qualities. These being Humor, Genius and Love! There are few humans of this rock that can say they possess so many of these great qualities. We are in a drought, sort of speak, of true talented and original people. This saddens me, but then I think of my friend Kait and all is well in my mind.
When first meeting this tiny blonde woman, we came to the conclusion that it was a tragedy we had not met each other sooner. We had worked at the same place of business for quite some time, yet had never crossed each other's path. We met at a second job that our mutual friend and equally talented friend John Milner had needed help with. It consisted of sitting around telling mindless people where their event was and if they needed water they could find the fountain down the hall and to the left. So this gave us plenty of time to chatter about our lives. We found out that we had a lot in common. Especially the addiction to laughter. Kait the actress could cause me to blurt out large amounts of chuckles at any given moment. She also scared the living daylights out of me the first night we went out on the town. She decided to show off her acting skills in a very dramatic monologue. It consisted of tears and a story of grief. I had no idea this was her. I thought I was watching a completely different person. And then she snapped out of it and started to laugh. She had me, the one that prides himself on not being easily deceived. I was one thing, very amused.
After the laughter came deep thought. Maybe I should call it a deep maze in which we could never solve. We were very good at finding new ways through this maze, but we never could understand it. Religion, education, sex, war, politics and even reincarnation, there wasn't a part of the maze we didn't talk about. Her understanding of the world at a young age was phenomenal. She investigated anything she didn't quite believe or understand. This is a part of intelligence that most do not speak of, especially in our hometown. Faith states are what I call them. The Bible Belt is the region. Questioning the core belief was definitely frowned upon. I am glad it didn't stop her from filling her head with knowledge. Even though I had explored the maze myself, I was sometimes hesitant or lazy to go further. Kait pushed me forward, handed me knowledge and tested my mind.
Love is a hard thing for people like me. It is another part of the maze I don't quite understand. I know I feel it for many people. Sometimes without knowing why. I do not take it lightly though. I am not a huge fan of most people I meet and could do without large groups of friends. I like having the few people I can spill my guts out too. When I say few, it could possibly be only three. Kait is one of them. No matter what I say. No matter how unrealistic, unsophisticated, unintelligent or even down right mad, Kait seems to listen to it all. This is how you truly love someone. All that other bullshit is just chatter to me. I needed that when I met Kait, she helped me out from under my rock.
And in true Essay form, in conclusion and with many gramatical and punctuation errors, Kait is in a league all her own. Beauty, Intelligence, Humor, Humility and Love. She possesses more than most beings on this planet. She is a whole lot more than just a pretty little blonde woman.
She is the blonde and the gorgeous brunette is Lindsay her best friend. I was lucky that weekend to spend time with such amazing women, even though they almost drove me crazy!
That is her and I at ACL drunk and tired. No she is not naked. She was a sport and put up with my camping hobbies!!
So on to the Essay...
KAIT: AN ESSAY by Toad Bennett
Considering you have made it this far, I can assess that you find Kait to be beautiful and interesting. Now I will successfully convince you of her other qualities. These being Humor, Genius and Love! There are few humans of this rock that can say they possess so many of these great qualities. We are in a drought, sort of speak, of true talented and original people. This saddens me, but then I think of my friend Kait and all is well in my mind.
When first meeting this tiny blonde woman, we came to the conclusion that it was a tragedy we had not met each other sooner. We had worked at the same place of business for quite some time, yet had never crossed each other's path. We met at a second job that our mutual friend and equally talented friend John Milner had needed help with. It consisted of sitting around telling mindless people where their event was and if they needed water they could find the fountain down the hall and to the left. So this gave us plenty of time to chatter about our lives. We found out that we had a lot in common. Especially the addiction to laughter. Kait the actress could cause me to blurt out large amounts of chuckles at any given moment. She also scared the living daylights out of me the first night we went out on the town. She decided to show off her acting skills in a very dramatic monologue. It consisted of tears and a story of grief. I had no idea this was her. I thought I was watching a completely different person. And then she snapped out of it and started to laugh. She had me, the one that prides himself on not being easily deceived. I was one thing, very amused.
After the laughter came deep thought. Maybe I should call it a deep maze in which we could never solve. We were very good at finding new ways through this maze, but we never could understand it. Religion, education, sex, war, politics and even reincarnation, there wasn't a part of the maze we didn't talk about. Her understanding of the world at a young age was phenomenal. She investigated anything she didn't quite believe or understand. This is a part of intelligence that most do not speak of, especially in our hometown. Faith states are what I call them. The Bible Belt is the region. Questioning the core belief was definitely frowned upon. I am glad it didn't stop her from filling her head with knowledge. Even though I had explored the maze myself, I was sometimes hesitant or lazy to go further. Kait pushed me forward, handed me knowledge and tested my mind.
Love is a hard thing for people like me. It is another part of the maze I don't quite understand. I know I feel it for many people. Sometimes without knowing why. I do not take it lightly though. I am not a huge fan of most people I meet and could do without large groups of friends. I like having the few people I can spill my guts out too. When I say few, it could possibly be only three. Kait is one of them. No matter what I say. No matter how unrealistic, unsophisticated, unintelligent or even down right mad, Kait seems to listen to it all. This is how you truly love someone. All that other bullshit is just chatter to me. I needed that when I met Kait, she helped me out from under my rock.
And in true Essay form, in conclusion and with many gramatical and punctuation errors, Kait is in a league all her own. Beauty, Intelligence, Humor, Humility and Love. She possesses more than most beings on this planet. She is a whole lot more than just a pretty little blonde woman.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The New Me
So in order to be healthier, I am taking drastic measures. That means my food intake will change from whatever I feel like, to pure and natural fuel for my body. I am going to work on this philosophy, the only things I put in my body will be fruits, vegetables, nuts and the occasion wine or beer. Everything else is not aloud. I am also going to eat these the easy way, since I don't have time to sit down nowadays. So I will be blending them. I basically took the Naked Juice company's idea, but I would rather mix my own stuff. Although I am still going to drink this one: 
It is my favorite flavor!
I am also going to start playing basketball, tennis and riding my bike more often. I am going to try and walk or ride to places that are short distances. This should save me a lot of money and trim some of these pounds. I just want to wake up every morning feeling refreshed instead of in the clouds.
I will post my recipes every week in order to keep a hold of them for the future.
This week I made a drink with the following:
Lemon Juice
Coconut Milk
Kale
Spinach
Carrot
Pineapple
Strawberry
Blueberry
Raspberry
Next week will probably be more adventurous...maybe some kiwi and broccoli or parsley with ginger root and mango. We shall see.
I am also going to start playing basketball, tennis and riding my bike more often. I am going to try and walk or ride to places that are short distances. This should save me a lot of money and trim some of these pounds. I just want to wake up every morning feeling refreshed instead of in the clouds.
I will post my recipes every week in order to keep a hold of them for the future.
This week I made a drink with the following:
Lemon Juice
Coconut Milk
Kale
Spinach
Carrot
Pineapple
Strawberry
Blueberry
Raspberry
Next week will probably be more adventurous...maybe some kiwi and broccoli or parsley with ginger root and mango. We shall see.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Inside Out!
About a year ago I was taking tons of portraits of myself so that I could put together a series for my Parents. My Mom has complained every year since graduation for an updated portrait of her son. Well I decided to go all out and what came out of it was some crazy stuff. I not only enjoyed doing the portraits, but it seemed to show other sides of me that I didn't even know. While making this portrait series, I stumbled upon a website. It had tons of black and white portraits of normal everyday people from all over the world. I then kept reading and realized it was the work of one man. His idea was to take these portraits and blow them up into a huge format, print them out and then paste them to public walls. This was right up my alley! So I sent one of my portraits in and they accepted it to be printed. They sent it to me along with instructions on how and where to paste my portrait. It took a while, but I finally found a home for my face!!
BEFORE & AFTER
I had an art show at the great Brass Bell Studio! Half art gallery, half bike restoration. So I asked the owners if I could paste my face right next to the entrance. They were so pumped, they even helped paste it. It was truly an awesome way to show my personality and my art!
The best part about this idea is the beauty in each portrait. It is better said in the Ted Talk here:
You can also send your portrait in at www.insideoutproject.net
BEFORE & AFTER
I had an art show at the great Brass Bell Studio! Half art gallery, half bike restoration. So I asked the owners if I could paste my face right next to the entrance. They were so pumped, they even helped paste it. It was truly an awesome way to show my personality and my art!
The best part about this idea is the beauty in each portrait. It is better said in the Ted Talk here:
You can also send your portrait in at www.insideoutproject.net
Friday, November 11, 2011
Video of Music!
I just found what it would look like if I ever produced a Music Video! Enjoy!!!
Donny Benét - Sophisticated Lover from LUCI SCHRODER on Vimeo.
Writer's Block?
I just wrote a huge blog about loss. I poured my guts out about my lack of feeling during certain losses in my life. Making me feel like a Schizoid. I read over it before hitting publish post and realized I didn't want to share it yet. This also made me realize that I suck at sharing my deeper feelings. Of pain, of Love, of remorse. Why do I block them sometimes? I figured its like Writer's Block, sometimes you just don't know what to say. So you just carry on, hoping that no one noticed or maybe they will have Writer's Block too. I will share it some time, until then.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
The Generations Conversation
This morning I read an article on the huge gap in thought the Generations have about life and politics in America. As always I am underwhelmed by the idea that this is news. Every Century has its divide in thought, but I do agree that the divide is deeper than it has been in some time. May they rest in Peace, if my Grandparents were alive today, they would not be in the same mind frame that I am in right now. They would be retired and not working and waiting to die. As harsh as this sounds, what right do they have to make decisions on our future. When I am old and waiting to die, I am going to worry more about what I am going to fix for dinner or what book I am going to read. I am sorry, but the Silent Generation's voice is too loud. Their votes are worth way more then ours. Some of them are still writing laws in Congress. John McCain does not have my future interests in mind. The greed of politics and corporation don't have my interests in mind. So this is what I am going to do: Start a business, work in that business everyday, live near that business, eat, drink, shop local. My money stays near me even when it is no longer mine. I have dismissed the education of my past. I was taught by my parents and grandparents to get a degree and a full time job with benefits, to buy and consume and own. That education has made me poor. I promise to never make anyone else rich, that I don't have a personal relationship with. Minimalism is key. Localism is key. Naturalism is key. Self educate, re-evaluate and survive!!!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Phone Photographer?
So this summer I bought a new smart phone. One that has a very good camera on it and apps that make it easy to spice up an image. I have always been a critic of these camera phones. I think sometimes it takes away the fun in photography, but know I am spoiled with having one. So I at least try to make each photo worth it! Here is what I have done so far:
You can find more on my Flickr, PhotoTheBerto
You can find more on my Flickr, PhotoTheBerto
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